Thursday 13 January 2011

Having one of those 'oh my gosh i hate everything' days. You name it, i'm hating on it. I took quite a few pictures of todays outfit, and decided i looked absolutely dreadful in every single one again, and opted to not post them, only thing i like about the photo above is my pout and necklace. My hair looks a mess, and my cheeks look chubby. Oh gosh, i'm being ridiculosuly critical at the moment! All these emotions could be due to the fact i'm on day 11 of my period, yes that's right day 11 (not that you needed to know that, but it may make more sense?) Weird times right, i really do NOT understand myself at all. Think i can safely say that i don't really know who i am anymore either, really need to engage with myself more and not let my emotions take over, which they seem to be doing A LOT recently. Mother was looking at videos of me when i was younger earlier, small, chubby , cute with shoulder length thick black hair. I was 3 years old, full of life, had no responsibilites, and the only thing i had to worry about would be not losing my doll! I think i cried for about 20 minutes after watching it, i'm nothing like that now, i'm now blonde, 17 years old, drained of total energy all the time due to my M.E and i worry about everything. I really need to make some changes, first things first, get this cast off my hand, get off cruthces and reintroduce myself back into school. I think that's the first step.If any of you reading my blog happen to have me on twitter, you'll see that recently all my statuses seem to be so depressing and sad, i think i just vent how i'm feeling on there, just a way to breathe in a sense. Oh i don't know.

So need to book myself into a spa and R-E-L-A-X


Anonymous said...

I think you should stop being so hard on yourself, your cheekbones look define! You remind me of Emma Watson, I'm not sure if it's all the time or if it's just this photo, but it's a compliment nonetheless as she is a total babe! Hope your body sorts itself out soon, mine is usually all over the place too. Are you on the pill? Maybe changing it to something different might help.. anyway, just smile, you are beautiful and I have no doubt that you are the same inside and out :) xx

Michelle / Daisybutter said...

N'awh, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself Courtney, as Emma said above! You look just lovely, and we all have days where we hate how we look, as an example, my skin and hair is horrendous today! Smile sweet, and ice-cream/trashy TV will help! Always here if you want a quick chat! <3

♥ Sadie ♥ said...

You look fine sweetie, you're pretty :).

Sadie x

HoneyBunny said...

I guess each of us has moments like that, so hopefully you'll be seeing everything in a different light soon! Cute photo;)

essentially aimee said...

Darling, I completely agree with milkteef. You need to give yourself a break! I know it's hard not worrying about everything, I've had much problems with that in the past, but once you learn how to get through it and get better, it's a huge huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Having a positive attitude really helps. Hope you're doing a bit better!


daisychain said...

I really hope you feel better soon beautiful xox

Anonymous said...

Very cute one!!! TRIPPED ON SIDEWALK

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