Magenta Peace

Monday, 29 October 2012

x xxx xx xxxx
Jacket: Unknown
Top: Market
Tights: Tesco

I absolutely love this top. It's a bit different to the other tops  i own as i tend not to buy tops with any pattern like this on it. I really like the peace sign on it and the fact it's dripping down unlike most peace sign tees. Decided to pair it with a magenta coloured tube skirt as opposed to my usual safety bet of a black one, it's nice to add a coloured skirt i think. I've realised that this look really goes with the Gothic theme that's in trend atm. The leather jacket has really highlighted that theme in this outfit and due to the style of the tee i'm wearing too. I was thinking about tucking this top in, as due to the sophisticated look that i try to uphold i just think it would of looked far better. The style of the top has meant that i haven't been able to do that, which is a blessing in disguise because i was feeling so grubby this morning within myself!

I've been feeling so all over the place, to the point where i don't really know whether i'm coming or going. I'm going to start writing lists about all the things i need to do, so that once they're done, i can just cross them off and forget about it instead of constantly worrying that i've missed it or haven't done it. I'm quite annoyed with myself too actually as tomorrow, my brother who's a semi-pro footballer at the age of 16 is playing for Crawley Town and has a FA cup match tomorrow. He really wants me to go and watch it and i can't bring myself too due to my anxieties. How bad of  a sister does that make me? I'm so angry with myself!! I've made so many improvements, but i don't want to run before i can walk, and then be worse off than i was to begin with.. or worse have an anxiety at the match, in the stadium and wreck it for my parents who will be watching, and of course i'd hate to put my  brother off! I'll buy him a little present or when he comes home at the weekend to apologise. So yes, 4pm till midnight i'll be spending on my own watching ridiculous amounts of TV and probably eating a takeaway of some sort.. May aswell indulge while no ones around, right?


Winter Florals

Friday, 26 October 2012

xx x xxx xxxx
Jacket: Marks & Spencer
Dress: Shikha
Tights: Tesco

Put two pieces together that i'd of never thought of doing before. This dress which i actually bought from a Charity Shop a good while ago, it's got a great Winter feel about it, i think it's just the colour and the way the flowers are, it's not too overpowering at all. This dress is short-sleeved and elastically comes in at the waist, i'm not too keen on it coming at the waist though as it pops out a tad just underneath the elasticated waist and i think that makes me look frumpy. (Damn being so negative about my appearance constantly) I bought this jacket from a Charity Shop too - they really are the best places for finding cute pieces to add to your wardrobe.  I think it looks nice over this dress, it adds a vintage touch to it and makes it look more sophisticated instead of just cutesy. The shoulder padded effect squaring off my shoulders also gives the impression also gives the impression that i have a lot more confidence than i do, which is something i've always loved about shoulder padded clothing.

Something i've been told that's meant to be very therapeutic is baking. I used to love baking cupcakes a while back and i  haven't in a while so thought i may give it a go over the weekend. I'm using my brothers friends as guinea pigs, and i'm giving all the baked goods to them once i've baked them, good ole' teenage boys and their forever-increasing appetite! Now.. what to bake.. Cupcakes? Brownies? Cookies?


Shirt It Up

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

x xx xxx xxxx
Top: H&M
Skirt & Shirt: New Look
Tights: Tesco

A simple white tee, a black tube skirt, and a pair of 70 denier tights. Simple? Yes, but i'm happy with my simple and smart style. I've thrown an oversized shirt over the top of this and it's just added that bit of oomph and it's also made me feel more comfortable as i can hide a bit behind it. I'm absolutely loving the colour of this shirt though! The blue looks really good against my hair colour and the necklace compliments it so well. Couldn't tell you where the necklace is from though, was a present one birthday from the brother!

I've thrown a stupid photo of me into the mixture here as well, just to show that i'm not totally boring nowadays. I've still got a bit of that old Courtney left in me. One of my therapists came to the house today for our usual weekly meeting and we ended up talking about some pretty uncomfortable things that happened in my past throughout my school life. Since talking about it earlier it's left me feeling emotionally drained and quite down and low to be honest. Didn't realise that digging up old memories would make me feel like this, thought i'd come to terms with how bad my school life was and everything that happened,...clearly not.


A step in the right direction

Thursday, 18 October 2012

xx X
Jacket: Vintage
Shirt: Monsoon
Jeans: River Island

I love this shirt, it's so easy to wear with most pieces of clothing and as the colour is just off-white it goes with everything. Was a recent(ish) purchase that mumsy bought for me to try cheer me up as she knows how low i've been - Cutie isn't she? I tend not to wear jeans as i just don't find them flattering on me whatsoever and this is now the only pair i own, i'm still not to keen if i'm honest. (yes i know i'm way too critical on myself), but a shirt or blouse always look lovely with a pair of jeans. The jacket was something of my Grandma's and i think it brings the outfit together nicely with it's dogtooth print. I love dogtooth print in black & white, it just adds a touch of class to whatever is being worn.

This is one of the first outfit posts i've done in a long time. I've been really struggling with my anxiety, depression, my insecurities, self-esteem and confidence. Even leaving the house is a struggle nowadays, and i don't unless it's for a hospital appointment. So yeah, hello the beginning of recovering from this major anxiety problem which has been controlling my life. It just appeared out of nowhere and took a grip hence why COURTZMELV was on major hold for a while. But this is a start and a step forward for me. :)


Create Me AW12

Monday, 15 October 2012

So many beautiful key trends this AW12 season, Gothic has made a BIG comeback gracing our High Streets with studs, lace and a grunge-feel. Aswell as the folk look coming back with all  the army and Aztec prints that are flying around. Of course the Peplum style tops & dresses don't seem to be going anywhere either! There are plenty more knitwear items around this time of year too, damn England for being such a chilly country! 
I can see the Gothic theme being a slight favourite of mine, particularly on myself, im a big fan of black clothes. Mostly because i think they look most flattering on me and the Peplum style is awful on me! It makes me look so frumpy and i find it so very unflattering! After trying a top on in the style, i can safely say i will never be spending my money on one. 
Knitwear pieces of clothing are everywhere at the moment also, big chunky knits - my favourite! It's a shame it has to be down to this chilly English weather though! I love love love big jumpers throughout the year, it's just something that you can never go wrong with, and at least your assured to be warm whatever the weather. 
I've put together two looks that i think would work with the great themes that are in fashion this time of the year. I've used some of the key trends that the AW12 season has brought us and i think i've managed to create two stylish outfits, courtesy of our High Street stores. 

New Look: Vest, Jeggings, 
Topshop: Boots, Ring, Earrings
Miss Selfridge: Cardigan
A simple Gothic style outfit, with a touch of colour and a bit of glitter. The studded vest could either hang over the jeggings, but would ultimately look great tucked in a smidge too. I think the boyfriend cardigan is a really nice touch making this outfit not appear too bold and 'in your face' as such. The tones in the cardi are nice aswell, giving a bit of calmness to the outfit. The glitter heeled boots are gorgeous and i think go absolutely perfectly with this outfit, although any black heel would suffice. The sparkle really emphasises the punk/gothic feel in my opinion and then hint of red jewellery which we find in the ring and the earrings compliments this.

New Look: Vest 
Topshop: Skirt, Jacket 
Miss Selfridge: Heels 
River Island: Earrings, Ring

Taking elements from the folk look and incorporating a masculinity feel also with this outfit. The Egyptian print vest should sit nicely tucked into the cream pink maxi skirt hiding part or all of the vest that has not got the print on it. The classy dangly earrings and the gold and pink ring just add to making the outfit feel more feminine with a twist by having the print on the vest. The simple black heels go nicely with any outfit so you can't fault wearing them with this outfit. The leather jacket adds that masculine edge which totally contrasts the femininity that has been created. This look is quite elegant but by the adding the leather jacket has totally turned the outfit around making it more eye-catching and intense.