Sunday, 31 October 2010

I think this is extremely true. Everyone has secrets. Some which need be shared, others which are better off kept secret. Some secrets can tear a family apart, others can destory friendships and relationships and determine whether people will trust you or not. I believe some secrets are neccessary, personal secrets which could only hurt yourself if were to get out. Secrets that may destroy a family, a friendship or a relationship would only destroy it if the secret shouldn't be a secret in the first place, meaning that clearly someone is attempting to hide something. For example, if someones cheated in a relationship, or your bestfriend has stolen money from you. Secrets such as these, are not acceptable, although i understand people would keep them in an attempt to save people from the horrid reality which could destory relationships.In my opinion, if you've got a secret about someone else, it's probably because they've done something wrong, whereas if its about yourself, then i think you should be entitled to keeping it a secret.


be miserable, or motivate yourself. whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
                                                                                                      - Wayne Dyer


without imperfection, neither you or I would exist
                                                                                        - Stephen Hawking


Saturday, 30 October 2010

Yes, so i was extremely bored, so i thought, hey my nails need doing, so lets give myself a little manicure.
yeah.. BRIGHT YELLOW. It clashes with everything, so i thought it had to be done, who doesn't like bright nails right? Now after an extremely boring day, its time for a nice evening with the boyfriend :)

Marilyn Monroe & Audrey Hepburn

Oh My.. Marilyn Monroe & Audrey Hepburn

In my opinion, two of the most beautiful people to have ever set foot on Earth. Marilyn Monroe was an american actress, singer and ofcourse model. Audrey Hepburn on the other hand was an actress and humanitarian. But judging by her unique beauty, should of also been a successful model of the 19th century, but instead just was a photographers model. Both these woman were successful actresses, whom were very well known in the 19th century. The world was shocked at Monroe's sudden death at the age of 36, following what they assume to be a suicide as the results of overdosing on barbiturates. Hepburn died of severe adominal pains which they soon found out to be cancer, although she survived until the age of 63. Both deaths were tragic to the world of today, Hepburn was ranked the most beautiful woman of all time, and Monroe ranked as the sixth greatest film star of all time. Both woman lead such exciting lifestyles, and it was also rumoured that Monroe had an affair with the current President of that age John. F. Kennedy, and his brother, and looking at her phone records its seen that The President was the last person she called. Both these woman are treasures of the 19th century, and stories of their lives will survive for years. Easily two of the most beautiful and talented women to of ever lived.

Stop underestimating me and listen!

Friday, 29 October 2010

I think my whole family underestimate me so much, and it's really bugging me. They don't listen to a thing i say.. grr. For about the last year, i've practically been begging my parents, my mum inperticular, to get me a puppy for my Birthday. I already have a dog, a 10 year old black cross betwen a ladbrador & whippet. He's lovely, but he's not mine.. he's the familys. I really want another dog. Something that i can call my own, and take for walks along with my other dog Pepper, and love, and look after. As i've been telling my mum for ages, i happily would. I love ladbrador's, golden retrievers, chihuahuas, cocker spaniels, alsations, terriers, labradoodles, collies, boxers, great pryenees, beagles, dalmations. Literally any dogs! I guess you could say i'm more of a dog person then a cat person. But the fact i have SEVEN cats and a dog, AND a brother, i doubt my parents are going to give in to my wish. Another thing about dogs, there meant to be very theraputic, i'd love to be able to just vent all my feelings towards my dog, just talk to something that can't reply, but i don't think my parents understand that, more like they refuse to listen to that part of it. Ugh. Dogs are for life, not just for Christmas!
So why won't you let me proove myself?
how anyone can ever say no to a creature this beautiful, i will never understand!

Birthday & Christmas is approaching...

Okay, so December has always been a very expencive month for my mum. It's my brothers birthday on the 16th, mine on the 18th and then Christmas on the 25th, and then New Years Eve on the 31st. I love this time of the year, it's so festive, the Christmas Carols being sung, that send shivers up your spine or reduce you to tears, the sitting with a hot water bottle in an attempt to keep the warm, how it brings you and your family closer together. In my opinion Birthday, Christmas and New Year are the main forgiving points in your life. Your Birthday you become another year older, whatever happened when you were that year younger may have been your immaturity out shining you, i mean i definately matured since when i became 16 to when i was 15, not that every mistake in that year is based on immaturity, but how immaturity and naiveness can influence how you behave and react in different situations. Christmas is such a festive time of year, a happy time of year for most, who wants to spend Christmas day alone? I definately wouldn't, because i think thats when you would most definately feel the lowest of the low. I would happily welcome someone who didn't have a supportive family, or a family at all into my family on Christmas Day,because like i said, it's meant to be a happy time of year, so i could never allow myself to allow someone to feel so low. New Years Eve is the perfect day for forgiveness, whatever happened in the past should be resolved, although with the exception of a few things. The New Year can begin a new you, that year can entail whatever you want, to make wild choices if you wish, to knuckle down on school work, to change from playing football to rugby, or whatever takes your fancy. However long you and someone haven't got along, i think that could all change on New Years Eve, just because who wants to start the New Year on a bad note? You want to go into it with a positve mental attitude, and mostly kicking off the start with a hangover recovering from the amazing night before.. am i right?;) That's just my opinion, many people will disagree with me and say the reason they don't get along with that person is there fault, they can apologzie, which in my opinion is quite shallow. It takes 2 people to build a friendship,and to resolve a problem,not just 1. I've always hated when my birthday is, since aslong as i can remember, to be honest, it's for a pretty selfish reason. It;s my birthday, then a week till Christmas, and when i was younger from nearlly everyone apart from my parents, it was 'heres your Birthday & Christmas present'. It used to make me think, why is it suddenly different for me because my Birthday & Christmas are close together? If my Birthday was in June, i guarantee i wouldn't be getting joint presents. See i told you it was a selfish reason. Now though, i make jokes about how it irritates me, truth is, i'm lucky to have a family like mine, i don't think i could ask for much  and over this year i've matured alot, i've been through alot, and it's made me realise. The presents i get for my Birthday & Christmas are things, i want, not things i need. Think of all those people living on the streets, in shelters, scrounging for money, having to steal to survive, in abusive relationships they can't escape, the ones that have been kidnapped, the poor people. There the people who deserve the presents that i get for my Birthday & Christmas, what do they get? A cup of soup for Christmas Dinner while curled up in a box with a thin blanket in an attempt to keep warm, or a Birthday Beating by an abusive partner? I'm such a big believer in giving to charity, i don't do it as often as i should, but the whole 'raising money' for people less fortuante than myself really appeals to be. I donate my old clothes not to charity shops, but to people i know whom are less fortunate than i am, and can't afford the nice clothes i do. I've always said that if i won the lottery, i'd donate alot of it to charity, or give out sums of money to people i know who try their best to get by, but never seem to manage due to disabilitys or lack of qualifications. We had an old 50" TV, which my mum sold to my friend, but i had asked her to donate it to either Great Ormand Street Hospital, or Royal National Orthopeadic Hospital Stanmore. I've been at Stanmore, and i would happily donate money there. GOSH, i don't know much about, i've never been there thank god, but with the click of a fingers i would of donated that TV there, or some money. I want the children in there to be able to celerbate a lovely Birthday or Christmas, it could be there last! This year though, i probably will still ask for presents from my mother, just because i am a 16 year old girl, as selfish as that may seem, but i hope to donate some money i get to a charity where people may not be able to provide for themselves. Such as to people with disabilitys, or elderly people. I'm also going to give my room a good clear out, and donate maybe some old board games to a hospital, some clothes to a charity. I may even get some shoe boxes and fill them with a few little presents which i think some children would like, and get them delivered to a hospital, so they can have a good Birthday or Christmas.
Everyone deserves a good Birthday or Christmas, everyone!


Thursday, 28 October 2010

Oooooooooh yes! My Boohoo package has arrived:)
Love it when new clothes finally arrive, makes me happy!

Cardigain - New Look
Dress - Boohoo
Leggings - H&M
Ring - Boohoo


Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Top - River Island
Shorts - River Island
Socks - New Look
Rings - Marks & Spencer


fill the paper with the breathings of your heart
                                                                                                - William Wordsworth


Tuesday, 26 October 2010

I did a little modelling when i was younger, but nothing major, and it's kind of a fluke that i managed to get that job, considering it was nothing special. But the last month or so it's been really playing on my mind.Many people have told me that i'm really photogenic and that i should approach agenices; truth is, i wouldn't know where to start! I know i'm not that pretty, and i don't have a models figure, and i'm not tall enough, but i would love to model. Along with fashion and photography it is something that i'm very passionate about, it really interests me and i'd love to do it! It's something i hate admitting to people because i'm afraid they'll laugh at me. Although i think it really is every girls dream to be the next Kate Moss or be on the cover of Vogue, it's definately a dream of mine...

A suprise gift!

My boyfriends so lovely. He went shopping yesterday and bought me something! Was really nice of him to suprise me with something, although he shouldn't of, i feel so guilty! The present is really beautiful, i love it!
 It's like a double leathered weaved bracelet in pearl.. eek!
thankyou thankyou thankyou (L)(L)(L) 

Retail therapy much?!

Monday, 25 October 2010

Ahh.. i'm turning into a definite shopaholic, definately hurting mums credit card (apologieees!) I've just purchased some pretty items from Boohoo, as they do really nice cardigains in some of the colours i needed! It's mine and my mum's retail therapy, shopshopshop! Thankyou Mum!! eeeek!

Esme Crochet Neck Tunic - Black - £11.00
Brushed Knit Pearl Trim Tunic - Black - £8.00
Jersey Cardigain - Pink - £8.00
2 Pocket Cardigain - £8.00
Esme Crochet Neck Tunic - White - £11.00
Morna Pearl Rose Cluster Ring - £5.00
Total: £51.00
All Boohoo!

Now i'm spending the evening with my gorgeous boyfriend,

OOTD + nails

I got really bored earlier, so i decided to give my nails a revamp! Reshaped them because they were a state, made them uber short and as square as possible, cleaned them, pushed my cuticles back, used this oily stuff and then i buffed away haha! I needed a nice colour and couldn't decide between Coral because it goes with the majority of stuff i own, Dark Blue because it's quite dark and mysterious or Bright Orange just because it's bright and odd! I decided on Dark Blue

and here's todays outfit post... my first one eek!
nothing to far fetched today, pretty simple :)
hope you like!

Floral Pussy Bow Blouse - New Look
Black Leggings - H&M
Pink Rose Earrings(comes in multipack) - New Look 

Love for online shopping!!

Major love for online shopping! Mother was feeling generous so let me splurge some £££ on a few pretty clothes from Topshop. To be fair, i need some new clothes. I can't wear much because of my leg at the moment which sucks. I mean i don't wear trousers/jeans anyways which i explained in an earlier post so i always stick to leggings and tights which is alright because i can get that over my leg, but i need dresses/tunics/shorts/skirts. A lot of what i purchased was for comfort as well as myself attempting to be fashionable. Definately think i've finally got some colours and items that are in trend this A/W like the camel and the burgandy and the paperbag shorts and box tops.. soo... heres a look at what i've just purchased, there were two items from Topshop which were out of stock, but mumsy said she'd allow me to buy because i've wanted them for ages! They were a pair of camel paperbag shorts, and burgandy paperbag skirt. I'm so grateful for these things mum, much appreciated!!!

Short Slee Loost Fit Tee - Biscuit - £12.00 - Topshop
Waffle Pattern Ankle Socks - Burgandy - £4.00 - Topshop
Plain Scoop Vest - Black - £5.00 - Topshop
Plain Scoop Vest - Burgandy - £5.00 - Topshop
Long Sleeved Peter Pan Tunic - Bottle - £28.00 - Topshop
Cable Knit Wool Shorts - Oatmeal - £30.00 - Topshop
Striped Pocket Tunic - Black&White - £10.99 - New Look
Pocket Detail Unit - Black - £9.99 - New Look
Cable Knitted Skirt - Burgandy - £14.99 - New Look
Disty Trim Boy Pants - Purple - £2.33 - New Look
Floral Boy Pant - Cream - £2.33 - New Look
Floral Lace Brief - Pink Blosson - £2.33 - New Look
Cable Knit Tights - Black - £7.99 - River Island
Over The Knee Cable Knit Wooly Socks - Black - £6.99 - River Island
Smart Paperbag Shorts With Belt - Black - £24.99 - River Island
Animal Print Boxy Top - Brown - £19.99 - River Island
Total: £185.97

Thankyou Mummy! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Who is Courtney?

Sunday, 24 October 2010

I never really did an introduction to myself so i thought i'd write a little something here.. So my names Courtney, I'm 16 and from a small town in Hertfordshire, England. I'm extremely clumsy and have a love for the majorly weird things in life, the oppurtunitys, the experiences and the people just to name a few. I have a small love for football and i play for a team Welwyn Garden City Ladies, although due to my recent operation i shall not be playing till next season unforutunately. I have a love for fashion + photography, though it's more the analyzing of the photos and finding the hidden depths behind the image which interests me more than the actual taking of them but i am thinking of taking photography up as a hobby. I'm currently studying my A-levels at sixth form, Drama, Media and Psychology. Drama and Psychology is something that i have always been very passionate about, i love drama as it's really improved my confidence which was knocked due to servere bullying, and psychology is something i've always wanted to learn more about as it interests me greatly. I hope to go to University, possibly in Edinburgh once they are completed to study Law and Psychology and then become a lawyer who deals with people with psychological problems, or something that includes both Law and Pscyhology. I am one of those people who cares deeply about what other people think about me, i understand you can't be liked by everyone, you can't be friends with everyone, and that you can't please everyone. But i always try to keep people happy. I like it when people are happy, i like knowing that a compliment, or a simple please and thankyou or even a hello can make someones day. Seeing their face light up due to the fact someone has taken an acknowledgement to them makes me happy, just to know that their happy. I suppose you could say i like to please people. I don't think much of myself at all, i don't really know why, but i just don't, i put myself down a lot and find it extremely hard to accept a compliment and usually reply with "thankyou but i'm not" or something along those lines. I care for my family so much, i seriously would do anything for them. I'm quite close with my brother, he's 14 and the thought of him getting hurt or being upset makes me feel sick to the stomach. My mum does a lot of me, i wouldn't be here if it weren't for her, and i'm seriously grateful to have a mother like her. My dad and i have our ups and downs, alot. But he's a great guy at heart. I love them all, thats no secret, and i'm not ashamed to admit it. My real friends mean a hell of a lot to me as well, i'd do anything for them. Lastly my boyfriend, i adore you, you mean the world to me. I've been through a lot in these 16years, i've got many many medical problems, some which i don't feel appropriate to talk about on here, i lost a best friend at the age of 13, i was severely bullied, i've dealt with my dads alcoholism and some more things. But i'm still standing, still going strong. Something you need know about me, I'm a very strong minded person, and if i set my mind to something, i will do everything in my power to attempt to achieve it. Another thing, when i get in the zone of writing, i babble on for ages, so i suppose i should stop writing now. But yeah, thats an insight into who i am. :)

This Is Courtney Melville.